Everyone lives a different life. But I also think we’re all more alike than we want to believe. It’s easy to fall victim to this notion that it’s you against the world. Sometimes it is but not as much as we make it out to be – I’ll be the first to admit that. At the core, our emotions are shared with the able bodied.
When it comes down to it, people are the same but different. We all experience the same emotions we just look at life with a different lens. For a while now my lens has been tainted by my disability. Sometimes this causes self-inflected isolation as I try to adjust. And in those moments when reaching out to a person who doesn’t share my disease feels foolish, I remind myself; even if it’s not them going through the same thing, they’ll know a friend of a friend, a sister or a cousin who is. And with that comes the connection to empathise and truly learn about each other’s obstacles in life.
There’s a common understanding that everyone carries – that is, we must look past our limitations. And when life happens, which it will, you reluctantly accept that change is inevitable. You quickly learn that you need to grow in these seasons. For people living with chronic illnesses, we have these seasons as often as we change socks. When your effected by multiple sclerosis every day, vulnerability could feel impossible. How do you explain that one day you feel invincible and the next you can’t even do the dishes. Whilst we experience this first hand as disabled people, it’s important to remember that our loved ones also share this vulnerability. They watch the progression of the disease in someone they care about and take on the weight of helping where they can and more than they did before.
There’s still a gap in the bridge between the abled and disabled. Where the abled believe their works go unrecognised and underrated whilst the disabled feel overwhelmed and written off. But again, it’s because the focus is on our differences not our similarities. Whether it’s a career change or having to look love in the mirror and face the potential rejection, this isn’t a one man show. We all have a duty in bridging the gap because as time passes, you realise that everyone shares the same “diagnosis” they just have different “symptoms”.
Some say that the essence of living is in the beauty of knowing that the good times happened, and you were there. You got to experience it all, to laugh, to cry, to live and to grow. And that translates to any life, not just certain ones. Every now and again it’s good to switch lenses with the person next to you. To interpret their values and understand their struggles. To find resemblance, of any kind, between their life and yours. No one’s saying that some people don’t have it worse than others or that life doesn’t show more mercy to its favourites – despite this you learn most people have different nightmares, but they also share the same dreams.
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